Balancing the Force
by nerdybirdy42
Summary: Three years after the battle on Exogol, Rey is forging a path forward for future Jedi. Her grief over the loss of Ben and weight of responsibilities have pushed her to live in seclusion. One night, she encounters an unexpected visitor. Reylo/Rey Ben fanfiction.
1. The Dream

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter One: The Dream

Three Years After the Battle of Exogol

Rey gazed thoughtfully at the temple entrance, admiring the stone walls she had resurrected, which had undoubtedly witnessed multitudes of Jedi knights come and go. They were ancient slabs hewn by some of the first Force wielders. Most of the hieroglyphs were still unintelligible to her, despite her efforts to decode them through using the sacred Jedi texts.

She was proud of the feat she had accomplished; this would be the first training center built since peace had returned to the galaxy. Located on the tangled jungle planet of Ledeve, Rey believed it to be a safe location for this first school. The planet had been abandoned after the Clone Wars following General Grievous' destruction of the temple, save for a few species of creatures who had adapted permanently to the environment.

Rey found a sense of peace while breathing in the heavy, humid air that smelled of growth and longevity. She hoped that future students would feel the same promise of life's fullness when they arrived. The trees and undergrowth, ancient and winding, showed resiliency in the face of loss. She imagined that many of the first students would understand loss given all that the galaxy had undergone the past decades. She certainly had been no stranger to its cold certitude.

With a sharp intake of breath, Rey's mind darted once more to the faces of those she had lost: her parents, Master Skywalker, General Organa, and Ben. As she was often wont to do, Rey dwelled on the memory of Ben's final moments with her on Exogol – as he held her in his arms, as he beamed at her with positive brilliance following their first and only kiss.

While she barely comprehended it in the moments following her resuscitation, she later pieced together that Ben had passed the entirety of his life force to her so that she could live. She had enjoyed but seconds with the man before he passed on, becoming one with the Force as his mother had. Rey had wanted to spend a lifetime with him.

Their connection had been undeniable long before their last embrace. She had felt it during the first moments of his interrogation of her on Starkiller Base, which seemed like eons ago. Her encounters with Ben, even while he claimed Kylo Ren as his true name, made her feel lightheaded, as though she were moving at light speed and in slow motion all at once. She had felt this incomprehensible need to touch him, body and soul, even during the moments she had loathed him most.

She understood better now the significance of them being Force-bonded. Together, they were personification of the balance in and between all living things. In more simpler terms, they were bonded souls – meant for one another. Even now, three years after his passing, she felt the truth of it in her bones. And because of that truth, she had vowed to remain celibate. Besides, she could no more consider pursuing another love than changing her lineage. She and Ben were a mated pair, even if one was no longer present in this material world.

Blinking her eyes deliberately in an effort to dispel those recollections, Rey moved slowly up the stairs to the temple entrance. If she was being honest with herself, she knew she would return to thoughts of Ben in the later hours of the evening. She always did.

In the meantime, she would make use of the daylight and continue to renovate the ancient temple. There was still so much work to be done. Rey knew Finn and Poe could not understand why she had chosen to sequester herself on a lonely planet halfway across the galaxy. They spoke often enough using the new messaging technology Maz had recovered in the aftermath of the battle on Exogol, but her two friends still wished she would not condemn herself to solitude for the sake of rebuilding a long-destroyed Jedi temple.

They did not realize how much Rey felt changed in the lead up and aftermath of their victory over the Last Order. She did not expect them to comprehend the gravity of her situation; while it was obvious to her that Finn was sensitive to the Force, he was in no way expected to forge a path forward for new Force wielders. Nor did Finn and Poe understand the utter loss she felt in losing both Leia and Luke, who had been her mentors in the Force for only a brief period of time. She had undergone very little training compared to the education Jedi were expected to have experienced by her age. Now, it was her job to create a means for others to learn of a power she had only recently discovered and harnessed within herself. The responsibility resting on her shoulders was almost too much to contemplate at times.

She knew Finn and Poe would also have little understanding, or sympathy, for her connection to Ben, who had been – and possibly would always be – Kylo Ren to them. She had never spoken to them of her final moments with Ben on Exogol, knowing the two newly minted generals already had trouble believing he had turned to the Light in the end and helped her defeat Emperor Palpatine once and for all. She supposed she could not fault them for only seeing him as the villain, given that they had witnessed his wrongdoings for far longer than she had been aware of them.

Still, it was difficult to pretend constantly that she was as joyful and eager to forge this new era of peace as they were. She had never been a proficient actor, and so it was easier to remain secluded while she worked to secure a way forward for herself and future Jedi.

When at last night blanketed her area of Ledeve, Rey collapsed onto her cot in the temple's inner sanctum with a blessed exhaustion that suggested she may rest uninterrupted until dawn. Closing her eyes and releasing an extended sigh, she drifted swiftly into a heavy sleep.

* * *

From her vantage point, the lake was a beautiful shade of cerulean. White and grey gulls circled above, calling intermittently to one another. It was a cloudless day, warm still from a sun that was slowly approaching the horizon. Wherever she was, it seemed to be the afternoon. She noticed two moons rising near the east, nearly equidistant from one another.

After some time, Rey became aware she was leaning on a balcony attached to what appeared to be some sort of living quarters. It reminded her vaguely of monastery designs she remembered seeing in some of the Jedi texts, except this building was gargantuan, with great white walls and silver doors that hung on hinges the length of trees. Farther beyond, she noticed a network of smaller buildings, which had the appearance of individual houses. It was lovely, if not slightly overwhelming to behold.

"It's meant to be a representation of all former and future Jedi temples," the voice beside her spoke in a quiet tone that somehow echoed all around Rey. It was not just any voice, she knew. There was only one voice she had heard in such a way before, only one voice that could command her attention and send her heart stumbling into a beating frenzy.

Ben.

Denying her nearly immediate reaction to turn and search for the owner of that voice, Rey squeezed her eyes tightly shut. It was in part to keep the tears at bay, which were already threatening to fall, but also to save herself from the disappointment of finding no one beside her once more. Of course, she had imagined hearing Ben's voice before. It was usually in the quiet moments of the evening, when there was no more light permitting her to rebuild the temple. It was always soul-wrenching to turn involuntarily and search for his figure, only to find nothing but the jungle expanse around her. She would not face that heartbreak again, so she stood in mute anticipation for the feelings to subside.

"Rey," his voice echoed. It sounded so near to her and yet so far.

"This isn't real," she said through gritted teeth. She could hear the grief in her voice. "I'm going to turn, and you won't be there."

There was a moment of silence. Then: "Turn and look at me. Please," the voice implored, emphasizing the last word.

Rey wasn't sure she could withstand this much longer. She reasoned that at least if she followed the voice's request now, she could get the disappointment over with quickly. It would be like ripping off a bandage – the pain would come first but she knew a numbness would eventually replace it. With a sharp exhale through her nose, she slowly opened her eyes. Turning to the left, she gazed in silent shock.

He was here. Ben. He was here, right in front of her. Fresh-faced, whole, and impossibly brilliant. To Rey, he looked more handsome than any memory she had managed to conjure over the past few years. His raven's wing hair was an inky blue where the sunlight touched it, his brown eyes bright and full of life. He looked as though his years of rage and grief had fallen like a weight from his shoulders, no longer drowning him in darkness. He offered her a small, half smile and held out an upturned hand. An invitation, one he had given her before in wholly different circumstances.

Unlike the previous occasion, Rey did not hesitate to act. With a half-contained sob, she threw her arms around him and marveled at the seemingly impossible realness of his body, of his arms as they wrapped around her in a solid embrace. She heard his heartbeat fluttering inside his chest where her ear pressed firmly against him. She smelled the sea salt and pine that scented his loose, grey tunic. Rey could not make any sense of this moment, but she refused to let it go. If it truly was an illusion, she would cling to it happily for as long as possible.

After what seemed to Rey like moments or perhaps hours later, Ben pulled back from her embrace and cupped her face in his hands. They were warm, nearly covering the entirety of her cheeks and jaw. He looked down at her intently, his eyes darting rapidly back and forth as if he too was trying to savor these moments together.

Unable to stop herself, Rey raised up on tiptoes and leaned in to kiss him. He responded immediately, meeting her halfway as their lips collided in the softest of kisses. With one arm banded around her waist, he moved the other to grasp the back of her head, fingers tangling in her hair.

A slight moan escaped the back of her throat as his fingers brushed the sensitive skin at the nape of her neck. Her mouth parted slightly, and it was enough to goad him further. His tongue swept between her lips, brushing her own. The hand on her waist moved lower, gripping her hip. It was enough to set her blood boiling. Opening her mouth wider, Rey deepened their embrace, returning his movements with equal fervor. He groaned as she lightly bit his lower lip, and Rey melded herself to him, needing to feel every inch of him against her.

They had never shared a kiss like this before, but it was as though their bodies knew precisely how to move against one another. It felt to Rey as natural as breathing, as true as the call to Light side. Their embrace filled her with a sense of rightness she had not felt since their first and last kiss on Exogol. She would have happily drowned herself in this feeling.

Finally, Rey broke away, a bit breathless. "How is this happening?" She whispered, fearing that if she spoke too loudly, this wonderfully impossible reality would shatter.

After a few beats of silence, Ben responded with equal softness. "I have been trying to reach you all this time – through the Force, through whatever means I could muster. I have been trying for so long, Rey." He leaned in to place a delicate kiss on her forehead.

Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes, slipping down to touch Ben's hands. It all felt so real. So very, blessedly real. "I've grieved for you every single day, Ben Solo. You have no idea how much I've wanted to see you again, how much I've wanted just to talk to you," she replied.

Ben leaned back to look at her, giving her a bemused smile. "I think I may have some understanding," he said. She huffed a laugh.

"Yes, well, I suppose that could be true." She reached a hand up to grip his, where it still rested on the side of her face. "Is this actually real? Or am I dreaming?" she wondered aloud, in part as a question to him. "I suppose if this is all a dream, then you won't be able to say otherwise," she continued.

Ben straightened to his full height and released her face, only to rest his hands lightly around her waist. Rey had forgotten how tall and imposing his frame was. He stood at least a foot taller than her.

"This is real, although your physical body remains asleep. I am reaching your subconscious self through the Force."

"Similar to astral projections?" Rey interjected.

"I believe it is somewhat similar, although I do not know of anyone else like me who has tried to contact a living person this way," Ben replied. After a few moments he spoke again. "I had to see you again, Rey, if only for a moment more." He brushed her cheek softly with the back of his hand. She closed her eyes, savoring his touch.

"I had many regrets in the end," he said quietly, as if to himself. "One of them being that I could not spend a lifetime with you."

Rey wrapped her arms around his waist once more, hugging him tightly to her. "I wanted to spend a lifetime with you too," she whispered. They fell into silence, Ben smoothing his hand up and down her back in a slow, steady rhythm.

After some time, she looked up at him once more. "How long do we have? Together, like this, I mean."

"I don't know. As long as I can maintain the contact, I suppose. I wasn't expecting such a successful result, if I'm being honest," he grinned slyly, reaching to twirl a lock of her loose hair around his finger. He had the look of a little boy who had found an inventive way to nab something off limits.

"Are you alone most of the time?" she pressed. "Or do you get to speak with other Force spirits? Have you seen your family?" A pause, then she burst out excitedly, "Have you met anyone super cool and ancient?" Rey felt a million words bubbling on her tongue, threatening to escape without consideration of the words. It had been so long since she had talked to another person, besides the brief updates and replies she exchanged with Finn and Poe.

Ben chuckled at the barrage of questions, giving her a toothy grin. "I see others from time to time, although I'm not sure how the Force dictates when and where. Most of the time, I am here, in this place." He looked at the scenery around them. "It is a peaceful place to exist."

His focus returned to Rey. "I have seen my family, yes. Unfortunately, no one super cool and ancient has paid me a visit yet, I'm afraid," he said, bemused. Rey grinned sheepishly as he repeated her phrase back to her.

"Maybe we could walk around, or find some place to sit and talk? I want to hear every detail, spend every moment that I can with you" she said, taking his hands in hers and squeezing them gently.

He gave her a lopsided smile, interlacing his fingers with hers and raising them to kiss the back of her hand. "Of course. I want to hear everything about you, too."


	2. Stolen Moments

*Author's Note: My sincerest gratitude for the favorites, follows and reviews! I was fairly shocked to see such a positive response, as this is my first attempt at fanfiction. I'm glad you're enjoying my escapism tactics and love for Reylo as much as I am. For those who like to relate words to music, I got a lot of inspiration for this second chapter while listening to "Cool Blue" by The Japanese House.

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter Two: Stolen Moments**

**One Month Later**

_Out beyond ideas_

_of wrongdoing and rightdoing,_

_there is a field._

_I'll meet you there. _

_Rumi _

Stretching languidly in her cot, Rey twisted onto her back and blew out a deep breath. She extended her legs and arms fully, feeling the muscles pull taut with the first movements of the day. Gazing ahead at nothing in particular, she chewed lightly at her bottom lip, her thoughts introspective.

Indeed, her mind was too busy replaying moments from recent nights to notice it was fast approaching midday. She had been sleeping increasingly longer over the past month, compared to her previous routine of working sunrise to sunset. Admittedly, the majority of her evenings had become much more interesting of late. She chewed her lower lip and hummed softly as her mind touched on certain activities in particular.

* * *

_Rey listened intently as Ben described his encounters with family members, studying his facial expressions as he spoke. It was remarkable to behold the change his turn from the Dark had caused. There was a lightness to him now, not only in a moral sense, but something more akin to buoyancy. She could see it there in the moments his grin would widen to show his teeth, or when his eyebrows raised dramatically in the midst of a story. She found herself unable to keep from staring at him, from touching him. _

_They sat for hours on a stone bench near the edge of the temple's overlook during that first encounter, exchanging stories until it was nearly dark. Ben sat with Rey's legs stretched across his lap, one hand intermittently rubbing up and down her calves. She held his other between both of hers. _

_"Do you think you'll speak with Anakin again?" She asked hesitantly. Earlier, he had told her of the brief exchange he'd had with his grandfather. According to Ben's retelling, it had been quite difficult for him to hold a corporeal form for long. During their brief moment together, Anakin had expressed relief for Ben's decision to turn from the Dark and regretted his inability to come to him sooner. _

_"I'm not sure," Ben said after several beats of silence. He pursed his lips. "It's only a theory, but I think the sum of one's life has a direct impact on their ability to manipulate the Force after death. Anakin assumed the mantle of Darth Vader for the majority of his life. He contributed to death and destruction for far longer than he prevented it. While his decision to turn in the end was honored by the Force, perhaps it doesn't allow him as much liberty in the afterlife as others…" Ben quieted, suddenly lost in thought. Rey didn't interrupt his concentration, wanting to provide him the space necessary to process all he had experienced. _

_After a while, Ben turned back to meet Rey's gaze and smiled softly. "I'm sorry. I was trying to reconcile my theory with how I've been able to stay so long with you. I still don't fully understand how it's happening."_

_Rey reached a hand up to touch his face, smoothing her thumb over the hollow beneath his eye. "I don't understand it either, Ben, but I am very grateful to the Force, or to whatever it is that is allowing us to be together," she said. _

_He turned his head to place a light kiss against her palm. They fell into a comfortable silence as the last sliver of sun dipped below the horizon._

_When at last the stars winked into view, Rey's mind began to grow foggy with sleep. Ben pulled her fully onto his lap and cradled her against his chest. She heard again the peaceful rhythm of his heartbeat. "You are everything to me, Rey," he whispered after pressing a kiss against her temple. It was the last thing she heard before drifting off. _

* * *

_They lounged on the pebbled beach extending from the lake, listening to the waves lap the shore with slow momentum. The setting sun tinted the sky in varying tones of peach, orange and lilac._

_Ben's head rested in her lap, eyes closed and hands folded neatly on his chest, the image of tranquility. Rey played idly with his hair, enjoying the feel of his soft, inky black locks against her calloused fingers. She studied him as he dozed on her, attempting to memorize the planes of his face, the beauty in his slender fingers, the strength apparent in his long frame. He was the most beautiful man she had ever seen, that much was obvious. Her fingers itched to explore more of his body, feel the curves and ripples of muscle beneath his loose tunic. She bit her lip subconsciously as both her eyes and mind wandered lower, to the area just below the hem of his pants._

_"You look like you're starving," Ben said quietly. Rey jumped at the sound of his voice, meeting his eyes as a blush began spreading furiously across her cheeks and neck. His mouth lifted into a half smile as he raised one hand to trace his index finger along the places where the heat of embarrassment colored her skin._

_"And you're not?" she said, indignant. It was easier to feign annoyance after being caught staring brazenly at the lower extremities of his body than admit how much she was pining after him._

_With a smirk, Ben raised himself up to a sitting position, his face level with hers. He resumed his tracings of her skin, moving his fingers to graze softly against her collarbone. His gaze focused on the way her chest rose and fell with each unsteady breath. Finally, he met her eyes._

_"No," he said simply. "I'm ravenous."_

* * *

_"__Do you think it will ever stop?" Ben asked seriously, raising himself up on his forearm to peer down at her. His fingers began to trace idle patterns along her bare stomach, places where she had neglected to rearrange her tunic._

_Rey returned his gaze through narrowed eyes, scrutinizing his face as though it would reveal to her the meaning of his words. It was challenging to string together any coherent thoughts while he was touching her like that. She glanced down as she felt his fingers dip lower, skimming along the hem of her loose pants, and shivered involuntarily. Ben's mouth twisted into a mischievous grin, taking note of the effect his movements had on her._

_"Do I think what will ever stop?" she managed, looking back up at him. It was taking all her willpower not to plead with him to take her here, right now, beneath the willowy boughs of the old tree under which they were lounging._

_He studied her quietly for a moment before leaning down to graze his lips over the sensitive skin just below her ear. "The need to touch you, to be with you," he whispered, continuing to kiss along the outer edge of her ear. Rey's eyes fluttered shut as her fingers began weaving into his hair. Oh, gods, Rey thought, if there was a perfect afterlife, then surely this must be it._

_She nudged his head to the side, fully exposing his neck, and began to kiss and nip her way down to his collarbone. Ben gave a soft groan at her ministrations, his free hand clutching her hip possessively. She smiled against his skin at the sound he made and, trailing her fingers down his shirt to pause at his waist, she pulled at him to move on top of her. Ben did not hesitate to follow her direction and quickly shifted his weight to rest both forearms on either side of her head._

_Continuing to kiss along his throat and collarbone, Rey hooked one of her legs around Ben's waist. His sharp intake of breath at her drawing him closer was music to Rey's ears. She felt his hips grind against hers almost imperceptibly, causing a flittering sensation to spread down her abdomen, then lower still. _

_"I certainly hope not," she breathed against his skin. "As you can see, I've grown quite greedy for you."_

_He huffed a laugh, moving to rest his head gently in the crook of her neck. "If anyone is greedy for the other, I believe it's me," Ben said in a muffled voice. He paused to plant several feather-light kisses on her neck. "I've wanted you for far longer."_

_Grasping, and failing, for words that would describe the way she had always felt toward him, Rey allowed their exchanges to subside into silence. Still clutching him atop her, she stroked his waist, watching the rise and fall of his shoulder blades as he breathed peacefully._

* * *

_BEEP BRRR BEEP BRRR BEEP_

The noise jarred Rey back to the present. It was coming from the far corner of the room, where she kept the device used to communicate with Finn and Poe. Grunting slightly, she slid out of bed and trudged over to read the message she'd received.

IT HAS BEEN FOUR DAYS WITH NO REPLY – ARE YOU ALIVE OUT THERE? POE THINKS YOU ARE TAKING THIS MONASTIC LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY. I AGREE. BB-8 MISSES YOU AND ALSO AGREES WITH US.

Rey snorted at the last bit of Finn's message, seriously doubting that the little droid had a strong opinion on the monastic lifestyle of Force wielders.

_Kriff,_ she thought. _Finn is right_. She had seriously neglected her correspondence with friends the past month. And this wasn't the first worried message Finn had sent.

She knew she needed to stay present in this reality, but it was proving to be rather difficult when sleeping promised a return to that peaceful lakeside temple with Ben. Her subconscious self hadn't journeyed there every night, but it had become frequent enough that she began to expect it. That also had led her to rest much more often – and for longer periods of time, always eager to be spirited away the moment she drifted off to sleep. Her progress on the temple had slowed significantly as a result.

Pursing her lips in thought, Rey typed out a response to Finn. She hit send after reading over it a few times, making sure it was appropriately worded.

I AM SORRY FOR THE DELAYED RESPONSE. I HAVE BEEN REALLY BUSY LATELY TRYING TO GET EVERYTHING TOGETHER. SOME DAYS I JUST NEED A MENTAL BREAK. I MISS ALL OF YOU. GIVE BB-8, R2, 3PO AND D-O MY LOVE.

She waited by the communicator long enough to see the message had been sent successfully and then went about straightening up her little room. In truth, it was slightly larger than a supply closet and would probably be used as such when the school eventually opened. For now, it was cozy enough to provide Rey a sense of shelter during her renovation efforts.

She was folding the blankets on her cot when Finn's reply buzzed in. She placed the blankets at the foot of the bed and went to check the device.

NICE TRY BUT WE ARE COMING TO VISIT. NO SENSE IN ARGUING – POE IS READYING THE FALCON NOW. WE WILL BE THERE IN A WEEK. TALK SOON.

One week.

Seven days.

And then she would have to provide an answer, face-to-face, for how the temple failed to reflect all the work she had allegedly been putting into it.

_I'm either going to have to become a really good actor in the next week, or there's going to be a lot of explaining to do. _

Her stomach soured at the thought.


	3. Vacancies 1

*Author's Note: Sincere apologies for the delay in posting. Sickness and creative writing mix about as well as oil and water. This is part one of Chapter 3, and I will be posting part two in the next 3-5 days. Moving forward, my plan is to publish on a more regular basis, most likely every 7-10 days. Music inspiration tethered to this post is "Dog Years" by Maggie Rogers. I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 3: Vacancies**

**A Few Days Later**

_When we are asleep in this world, we are awake in another._

_Salvador Dali_

Sweat beads raced down the sides of Rey's face as she focused her energy on restoring one of the fallen temple columns to its former position. It was the fifth one she had righted that morning in her rabid attempt to render the temple nearly complete. She was exhausted, but only three days lay between Finn and Poe's arrival.

_It's not about lifting rocks_, Master Skywalker had once groused to her when describing the Force. She hoped he could see her now, proving his statement false once again. With a grunt, she clenched her hands into fists and the column settled into place. The tension in her arms slackened, and Rey dropped wearily into a squat. In that moment, she felt like kicking herself for allowing all this work on the renovations to pile up. There was still so much she wanted to get done.

With some effort, she rose from her resting position and quietly padded to the temple entrance overlooking the jungle expanse of Ledeve. She pulled the canteen of water she carried from the holster on her belt and took a swift sip, considering the view before her. The temple truly was blessed with a magnificent view; she could hear the buzzing of life coming from the dense greenery beyond and see distantly the birds flapping from treetop to treetop. Giant, bubbly clouds lazily drifted across the horizon. She could even track the sun's course from sunrise to sunset up here.

For some time, her work and the quietude of Ledeve had been enough for Rey. It had kept her busy and sane. It had given her a purpose, and that had felt like enough. But it seemed to be growing increasingly clear to her that the feeling of sufficiency had developed more from an absence of alternative options, rather than a true sense of contentment. While she still appreciated this life and the simplicity this place offered her, she felt restless. She wanted more. And, selfish or no, it didn't seem wrong to her to want that. To feel that, after all she had contributed to securing a peaceful future, it was okay to want for happiness. And so while there were moments she chastised herself for falling behind on responsibilities she assumed, there were many more instances when her mind unabashedly slipped away altogether, to a place she felt truly happy, to that dream world she shared with Ben.

It was a discordant life she was now leading, Rey realized, with her physical self planted firmly in one reality while her consciousness strained to be wholly elsewhere. Those two selves made for terrible companionship, and she knew on some level that eventually a choice would have to be made. But not today, she reasoned. And not tonight.

Tearing her gaze away from the jungle expanse, she twisted to survey the temple nave. There were still two columns that needed to be restored before this central portion of the building could be deemed functional once more. With a sharp exhale, Rey pushed off from the wall against which she had been slouching and resumed her work.

* * *

Three days came and passed with little change. Rey repeated the frenzied pattern she had adopted since Finn's news that he and Poe were coming to visit, spending the entirety of her days renovating the temple until her energy was all but spent. She considered her progress remarkable given the limited amount of time she had to make up for her lack of diligence during the last few weeks.

As long as she played it right, Rey thought to herself, Finn and Poe would never suspect a thing. They would come, see she was doing fine, and leave her once more to resume her work. It was the perfect scenario, with the exception of one detail, which was beginning to compromise her ability to carry on as usual.

Rey had not visited with Ben in almost a week.

True, she acknowledged to herself that she had not seen him every night since their first connection. But their meetings had still been regular enough to warrant her confusion over this lengthy interruption. Not having the slightest understanding of how the Force existed beyond the material plane, she was left with nothing but her own theories, which seemed equally as likely as the next.

Though one thing felt certain to her: Ben was in trouble. She could not shake the feeling, however much she tried.

On the morning of Finn and Poe's arrival, with no small tasks left to complete for the temple, it was all she could focus on. It was maddening, especially considering the miserable truth that, even if this was the case, that Ben was in danger, Rey had little power to protect or defend him. She could not even will herself to that place again, try as she might over the past few nights. Rey was forced to endure the role of a spectator in all this, and she loathed feeling such a lack of control over something so important to her.

As her mind continued to fret over the silence from Ben, she rose from her cot and began readying herself for the day. Finn and Poe would arrive shortly based on their exchanges earlier that week. She wanted to look as fresh-faced and convincing as possible, which would hopefully ease their worries enough to make this visit a short one. Given current circumstances, she would not be able to keep up the charade of normalcy for long.

* * *

She saw the Millennium Falcon burst into Ledeve's atmosphere in a flash. Despite her nervousness, she grinned at the reliable old spacecraft that held over a lifetime's worth of memories. As it slowly hovered over the clearing before the temple to land, Rey ran out to meet her friends.

BB-8 was the first one out of the ship, rocketing toward Rey while emitting a flurry of joyous beeps. She crouched to meet the little droid, patting his body and checking the antenna sprouting from his head out of impulse. BB-8 rocked back and forth excitedly, continuing to beep incessantly.

"I've missed you, too" Rey chuckled. "Have you been keeping the others in check?"

"Oh BB-8 is a regular social butterfly. He's got the lowdown on everyone back at base." Rey looked up to see Finn standing before her, smiling softly. She rose quickly from her crouched position and, grinning widely, jumped into Finn for a hug.

He returned her embrace with equal strength, and Rey realized in that moment just how much she had missed the company of her friends. She had been virtually alone for three years, and despite the regular communication with both generals, there were some things that virtual correspondence could not substitute - such as the feeling of love and light that flowed from Finn and Poe's physical presence. Their reunion made things almost perfect. _Almost. _

Still hugging Finn, Rey looked past his shoulder to see the final member of their little trio jogging to reach them. She released Finn only to greet Poe by punching him playfully on the shoulder.

"Hey! Is that really the treatment you should be giving your friends after they've crossed the galaxy to visit you? That's going to bruise," Poe feigned.

"Oh, please. You're tougher than that, Co-General." She gestured to the Millennium Falcon. "And how is the Falcon holding up under your watch? Have you been hyperspace skipping recently?" She joked.

"You'll be happy to know the Falcon is in tip-top shape thanks to my oversight," Poe said.

"I'll believe _that _when BB-8 suddenly learns to fly," Rey replied sardonically. BB-8 wiggled a bit, swiveling his head to check the rest of his body as if trying to determine whether it was indeed possible for him to fly. She huffed a laugh at the droid's effort, then looked up to meet Finn's watchful gaze. She could tell he was trying to get a read on her.

"You must be tired after that trip. Want to come inside the temple?" Without really waiting for a reply, she turned quickly and led the way up the temple steps. Finn knew she was off, she could sense it.

Which meant she had to find some way to deflect his attention, if that were even possible.

* * *

_**Chapter 3 to be continued…**_


	4. Vacancies 2

*Author's Note: I hope you enjoy reading this ending to Chapter 3! The next chapter will be up within the next 7-10 days. Thanks everyone for all the favorites and follows so far! The reviews have been so kind. I'm glad it seems that others are enjoying reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 3 (Continued): Vacancies**

Her tour of the temple was more thorough than necessary, but Rey found it was easier to avoid Finn's imminent onslaught of questions when she babbled on about the reconstruction process. Ever the gentlemen, both Finn and Poe appeared interested in the minutiae of her work during the last three years. Meanwhile BB-8 zoomed around happily, beeping periodically as if to comment on the work she had put into the temple.

While her limited information about the structure and its history could have been summarized in about an hour, Rey took until late that evening to conclude the tour. They were in her makeshift living quarters when her sentences trailed off awkwardly, her creativity too depleted to continue rambling on about the room. She heard one of the men's stomach rumble ominously.

"Hungry?" she asked.

"I could eat an entire bantha myself," Poe replied. BB-8 tooted in agreement, eliciting a chuckle from Rey.

"What do you normally eat here, Rey?" Finn asked casually. She knew better than to assume Finn was just making conversation. She knew because she herself had noticed recently how thin she had become since moving to Ledeve. Most of the time, she had been too focused on drowning her inner unrest in work to think about scavenging for food. But in recent weeks, she had spent more time sleeping than anything else, which led to her accidentally skipping more meals than was perhaps wise. Rey could tell she was weaker because of it; her work on the temple over the past few days had nearly exhausted her after only a few minutes.

"Oh, I usually just gather some berries or something from the bushes growing near the temple. I can go grab enough for the three of us if you give me a moment!" Poe looked a bit crestfallen at her lack of finer offerings. She ducked out of the room as he began lamenting the food they had left behind at home, muttering something about needing meat to keep from starving. She huffed a laugh.

After a few minutes she returned bearing a basketful of fruits and some vegetables that grew near the temple. Finn had spread out a blanket in the main room and was pouring what looked to be some sort of wine they had brought with them. Despite Poe's initial apprehension toward eating a vegetarian meal, they ate their fill and enjoyed the wine, laughing over memories of their time together during the Rebellion.

Later that evening, the trio lounged around the fire pit Rey had constructed during her first days on Ledeve. It was near the stairs leading up to the temple entrance, a safe distance away from any overhanging greenery. BB-8 had wedged himself tightly against Rey's side, and she smiled softly at the little droid. She was going to miss him, and part of her even contemplated asking Poe if he would be opposed to sharing custody of BB-8. Of course, she knew the answer to that before even asking the question; both BB-8 and Poe mourned each time they had been separated over the years. Despite her feelings of loneliness, Rey would not be the one to subject them to those circumstances again.

Still, Rey did not look forward to the group's departure as much as she initially thought - especially given that visits with Ben had come to an abrupt halt. She had genuinely enjoyed their company today, and the dinner was much more lively than any she had experienced since coming to this quiet planet. Being with them was like visiting with a former version of herself, one who was much more open-faced and hungry for the next adventure. In contrast, she felt much more withdrawn lately, introspective and longing for a reality that could not exist. She marveled at the change she had gone through since the Battle on Exegol those three years ago.

When at last the fire died down, Rey bid both men and the little droid goodnight but not before making plans to explore Ledeve's jungle terrain in the morning. Rey departed to her little cot after ensuring they were all settled in their sleeping arrangements. As she lay in bed waiting for sleep to sweep her away, she prayed to whatever power might be listening that she could visit Ben once more tonight.

While sleep came swiftly, there was no whisper of Ben's presence during the night.

* * *

"Watch it, BB-8, or you're going to get stuck in mud again!" Poe shouted up ahead.

"For the third time," Finn muttered under his breath. Rey heard the little droid chirp sprightly from where she was maneuvering across a particularly massive fallen tree. She could barely see BB-8 and Poe through the dense foliage of the Ledeve jungle. The pair had zoomed off at the crack of dawn to explore the area surrounding the temple, leaving Rey and Finn to catch up as best they could.

"Here, let me help you," Finn offered from the other side of tree, extending a hand to help Rey keep her balance. She took it politely and slid down the bark in an ungraceful attempt at nonchalance. Regaining her balance, she met Finn's gaze.

"Rey, I'm worried about you," he said in a hushed tone, despite the fact that Poe and BB-8 could be heard trampling far ahead of them.

"I'm fine," she replied, flashing a plastic sort of smile. "You don't need to worry about me."

"Something isn't right. I can feel it." Finn implored.

"There's nothing for you to be concerned about, Finn." Rey clapped her hands against the fabric of her tunic and pants in an attempt to rid them of bark and moss. As she began moving forward, toward the direction of Poe and BB-8, she attempted to divert the conversation. "Speaking of you feeling things, though, have you sensed a stronger connection to the Force?"

Finn paused thoughtfully before replying. "Yes… and no. I'm not sure what exactly I should be feeling _for_, if that makes any sense."

"It does. I understand what you mean," she assured him.

"Who knows, I may end up being your first student once you get this temple up and running. I could use some guidance, in any case."

Rey planted her boot firmly on a thicket branch that was poised to scrape both her and Finn's ankles, gesturing for him to cross over it. "I still feel like I would be an inadequate teacher," she said as she released the branch from under her foot and continued walking behind him. "I barely know what I'm doing now."

"Maybe things would be better if you weren't so isolated," Finn suggested. "You know, I wouldn't mind coming to stay here a few weeks at a time. I could even bring some of the children I've been getting reports about who've showed signs of Force sensitivity."

"No, it's okay. Really. I'm okay being here alone," Rey replied.

"_Why _are you so hell-bent on being alone out here?" Finn whirled around to face her, exasperated. Rey stopped in her tracks, a bit surprised at his sudden outburst. When she didn't move to speak, he continued.

"You haven't been the same since we returned from Exogol. No one has really, and I realize that that's only logical. But _you _were changed Rey, more than the others, and it doesn't take a mind reader to realize that more probably happened when you faced Palpatine than you've let on."

"Finn, there's noth-" Rey began, but Finn cut her off.

"Let me just get this off my chest." He inhaled sharply. "Look. I know you, and I know when something is off. I've sat by quietly for three years - _three years - _while you've been off on your own, thinking it would eventually pass. But coming here has made it clearer than ever to me that this is not just some phase for you. And I want to help. _I want to help you, Rey. _Please, let me do that for you… you know there's nothing you have to keep from me."

Rey stared at him for a long while, watching his chest rise and fall in quick, sharp breaths, as if his flurry of thoughts had taken true courage to speak aloud. She wanted to tell him everything; she really did. Finn was her closest friend, and it was an uncomfortable sensation to feel as though there were pieces of her, and her life, that she needed to keep hidden.

Try as she might to convince herself otherwise, Rey knew in her heart that Finn was unlikely to ever consider Ben as anything but a villain. She couldn't explain her years-long grief over losing him, let alone confess to Finn that she had loved the man he looked at with such scorn. And to admit, on top of all that, that she had been visiting with Ben routinely over the past month? It was ridiculous to her to even think that far. _No_, she thought, _it's better for everyone this way_.

Rey cleared her throat and stepped toward Finn so she could place a hand firmly on his shoulder. "Finn, there are parts of me and this life now that I'm still learning myself. I think the best thing you can do for me is to allow me the space to figure this out."

"But you don't have to do this alone." he argued.

She smiled softly. "I'm not alone. It wouldn't make sense if I tried to put into words, but here - in this place - I don't feel alone."

Finn fell silent, but she could tell there was still plenty more he wanted to say. Rey patted his shoulder and began walking forward once more. "C'mon. We're going to lose the adventurers for good if we don't keep up. And we're the only search party they've got in this place."

* * *

Finn didn't press the topic any more that day. Rey knew he hadn't put the matter to rest, but for the moment it seemed he was willing to respect her request for space. The two eventually managed to wrangle Poe and BB-8 back to the temple after once again rescuing the droid from a bog. Poe spent the rest of the evening attempting to rid BB-8 of the mud and foliage that was glued to his mechanical body.

After ensuring Poe had successfully decontaminated the droid, Rey bid them goodnight and returned to her cot. Her muscles ached from their day-long trek through the jungle, and she could tell her social energy was desperately in need of recharging. She flipped onto her side to face the wall after hunkering down in her cot, praying sleep would take her quickly.

When she opened her eyes, Rey was standing once again on the balcony overlooking the lake. It took but a moment for her to realize where she was before she swiveled around quickly, searching for Ben. She spied him walking toward her, coming from the direction of the massive temple. Her face broke into an exuberant smile, and she moved quickly to close the distance between them.

As they drew closer to one another, Rey's smile faltered. She noticed unmistakable fatigue on Ben's face. There were dark shadows beneath his eyes; his hair was in a state of unusual disarray. _That's odd_, she thought to herself. _How would it even be possible for him to be fatigued in this reality?_

"Ben? Is something wrong?" She asked carefully, moving close enough to take one of his hands in hers.

Ben flashed a small smile before squeezing her hand assuringly. "I'm okay. It's just taken more energy than I expected to contact you again."

"You mean you weren't able to reach me right away?" Worry lines creased her forehead as she spoke.

Ben cupped the side of her face with his free hand and stroked the arch of her cheekbone. "It took some time, yes. I don't want to think about it right now, though. I just want to be with you." He stepped closer to wrap her in an embrace. Rey pressed herself tightly against him, attempting to ease her anxiety by listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart.

Some moments later, he broke away. "Let's go some place we can rest. Under the old tree, maybe?"

"Wherever you want," Rey replied, giving him a small smile.

* * *

They spent the majority of the evening sprawled underneath the shade of the ancient tree. Both had forgone conversation, choosing instead to hold each other close. Rey felt as though they both were attempting to memorize the shape of one another. While at first it had seemed sweet, the subconscious tension in her body suggested something ominous was brewing beyond her understanding. More so than anything else, the uneasy feeling had her clinging to Ben out of a desperate will to keep him next to her.

After a while, Ben shifted to begin kissing along her collarbone, up her neck, across her jaw. His touch was needy and successfully captured her full attention. He elicited a breathy moan from her as one hand traveled slowly up her thigh and beneath her tunic to grasp her bare waist. As Rey moved to capture his mouth with her own, Ben repositioned them both carefully so that he was balanced over her. Rey responded by hooking a leg around his waist to draw him closer.

Ever so softly, Ben began to grind against her. His movements caused a fluttering sensation to overwhelm her lower abdomen once more before traveling deeper, to the area growing wetter with each thrust of Ben's hips against hers. She knew he could feel her body growing hotter by the minute, just as she could feel the length of him begin to stiffen. She boldly reached a hand down to stroke the hardness of him, causing Ben to groan against her lips. His mouth parted, and she swept her tongue in between his lips.

"I want you," he whispered against her mouth, grinding deeper against her as though to emphasize the words. "So badly." Rey whimpered, the noise turning into a softer keening as Ben shifted his body slightly to the side and began rubbing his fingers against the fabric covering her most sensitive spot.

Rey didn't think she could take much more of this; her skin was itching to be free of the clothes covering her body. Pausing his ministrations with a soft squeeze of her hand, she sat up and began removing her tunic. Ben's eyes followed her every movement, the look on his face comparable to a starving man. She discarded the clothing in the grass next to them and turned to face him once more, her chest completely bare. He stared at her longingly.

"What?" she asked, beginning to grow a bit self-conscious.

She watched his eyes move back and forth, taking in every inch of skin he could see. Finally, he spoke. "You… are so beautiful," he said, almost reverently.

Rey blushed, her heart racing as he extended a hand to touch one of her breasts.

But then he unexpectedly jerked backward, gaze darting about swiftly as though attempting to identify whatever had startled him.

"Ben…?" she asked cautiously. His attention snapped back to her, the expression on his face feral. She banded an arm across her chest reflexively, covering her nakedness.

"Something is wrong." He said in a rush. At that, Rey began to scan their surroundings, looking to identify some physical form of the _wrongness _Ben felt. She saw nothing, heard nothing. Yet she also could not shake the feeling that Ben claimed, even if she ignored the surge of emotions pouring from him toward her through their bond. It was a feeling of intrusion, as though someone, or something, had violated this peaceful little cocoon of theirs.

Reaching toward him, Rey attempted to confront that sense of unease by feeling the reassuring solidity of his presence. But just as she moved to touch him, Ben's body suddenly flickered, appearing as substantial as a wisp of smoke.

In an instant, her heart stopped, her gut plummeted. Ben seemed to realize it at the same moment she did: He was disappearing, less corporeal than even a Force ghost. His attention darted to his hands, clenching and unclenching as though trying to force himself to remain bodily present, before he quickly focused again on Rey.

"No, no, no, no," she was saying over and over again, perhaps subconsciously. She was trying once more to grab hold of him but was still unsuccessful. "Don't leave, Ben, please don't leave," she begged.

Ben's form was hazy as he moved toward her. "Rey, it's okay. It's okay. Listen, I think I know -"

In a blink, he disappeared altogether.

"NO!" she screeched, clawing at the air before her as though she could will him back to this space. _This can't be happening, what is happening, how can this be happening, _her mind stuttered.

She was too distracted to notice the growing blackness moving in like a thick pall around her, which consumed the temple, the lake, everything. Moments later, too late for her to react, she succumbed to the same darkness and tumbled swiftly into unconsciousness.


	5. Specters

*Author's Note: The plot thickens. I'm just trying to stir it. I hope you enjoy! Music inspiration: "Your Ghost" by Greg Laswell.

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 4: Specters**

**Moments Later**

_But the darkness pulls in everything:_

_shapes and fires, animals and myself,_

_how easily it gathers them! -_

_powers and people -_

_and it is possible a great energy_

_is moving near me._

_I have faith in nights._

_Rainer Maria Rilke_

Someone was screaming. It was a soul-wrenching, disconsolate sound. At the same time, she felt herself being shaken. She felt the unforgiving grip of hands that had clamped on her shoulders.

_REY_

_WAKE UP REY_

_LISTEN TO ME_

She could not place the voice, but it sounded so familiar. Nor could she determine with any certainty whether the voice emanated from within or without of this space she was inhabiting. Something was very wrong.

_STOP SCREAMING _

_REY EVERYTHING IS OKAY_

Not everything. Not anything. Nothing about this was okay. She needed to remember.

_REY_

Rey. _She _was Rey. She was Rey and she was present and where was…?

_Where_

_Was_

_Ben_

* * *

Finn almost lost hope in retrieving Rey from her state of absolute hysteria. He and Poe had nearly experienced heart attacks at the sound of her blood-curdling scream that had splintered the quietness of the temple into an echoing pandemonium. He distantly registered the sound of birds squawking as they fled the comfort of the nearby trees, disturbed by the eldritch scream coming from Rey's room.

On impulse, Finn had clambered to his feet and darted down the hallway toward her. Poe followed in his wake, BB-8 chirping beside him. But the trio stopped short of entering the makeshift sleep area upon seeing the state of its interior.

Finn doubted he would ever forget the sight of Rey in those moments that followed.

Her scant belongings were floating asymmetrically about the room, displaced from their original resting places and trembling with Force energy. Perhaps it could have been the flicker of torchlight playing tricks on his eyes, but Finn could have sworn there were flashes of blue currents pulsing between the objects. Rey was sitting upright in the middle of the cot, legs folded beneath her, hands clawing the blanket that had fallen on the bed. Her teeth were bared as she continued to scream in that otherworldly pitch.

Pushing aside the terror that bubbled up from his chest and into his throat, Finn delved into the fray surrounding Rey. Poe watched warily from the doorframe, caught between wanting to help and wanting to flee.

Finn was aware he was screaming at Rey but could not later recall the words he had thrown to her, praying she would latch on and return from this state of hysteria. He shook her shoulders, willing her to listen to him. It was the singular most disturbing experience of his life, feeling her desolation both in the physical sense as well as through the Force.

Finally, _finally_, her screams shuddered to a halt, replaced with pants for air in order to fill the lungs that had torn themselves apart in agony. Her chest heaved as she began to sob, murmuring the same words over and over again. It took Finn several moments to discern what she repeated in that chant-like rhythm.

"_Where is Ben where is Ben where is Ben where is Ben where is Ben where is -"_

Finn relinquished his grip on her shoulders as though he had been shocked.

_Ben? _

There was only one Ben he had heard mentioned before.

By General Organa.

By Han Solo.

His mind reeled, rejecting the reality before him. _No_, he thought, _that couldn't be who she meant_. _Surely not. He was dead. He couldn't hurt her any more. _

He tried to speak again.

"_What_ Ben, Rey?" he said with a forced gentleness.

So slowly, she raised her head to look at him with tear-stained eyes. They were filled with sorrow, with regret.

"You know." she whispered brokenly.

Finn felt a falling sensation in his gut. _How can he be tormenting her, after all this time? _

"_No. _NO." He clasped her forearm tightly. "I won't let him hurt you again. We'll find a way to stop this - stop him, I prom-"

But Rey silenced him with a garbled cry, her hands moving to cover her face as she sobbed. "No, I need him back!"

A beat of silence.

Finn blinked several times in an effort to dispel what seemed to him to be the strangest nightmare. He looked to Poe, who had remained in the doorframe, looking equally as confused by Rey's words.

Poe shook his head and gave a forced cough, an awkward sort of sound given the sudden silence in the room. "Rey, is there some _other_ Ben we should be aware of? Someone living here on Ledeve, maybe?" He tried to mold his tone into something placating.

But Rey only had eyes for Finn, as though his proximity and insistent gaze were enticing a confession from her lips.

"No. There's only Ben Solo." she said miserably, fresh tears welling in her eyes. They spilled over as she added in abject brokenness, "And now he's gone from me again."

Poe's face contorted into an expression of shock and faint disgust. Finn swallowed loudly, the noise ringing in his ears as he attempted - and utterly failed - to process the words emanating from Rey's mouth.

He tried to reason with her again, desperate this time to have her say something that resembled sense. "_Rey_, I don't know how, but we will find a way to _stop _this. Kylo Ren is dead. Any visions or influences from the Dark side - they can't hurt you. Not while we're here - we _will_ stop this, together."

Rey had grown increasingly agitated the longer Finn babbled, her nostrils flaring, her teeth gritted. Finally, she broke.

"HIS NAME IS BEN SOLO AND I LOVE HIM DO EITHER OF YOU NOT SEE THAT," she shouted in one breath, her gaze darting wildly between the two friends.

The effect of her words was similar to slapping them.

Both Finn and Poe's jaw slackened, their eyes widened in surprise. Through the Force, Rey could sense the beginning of some emotion stirring in Finn. _Was it betrayal perhaps? Disgust? _Rey did not linger in the room for the truth to be revealed.

In a blink, she unspooled herself from the bed and shouldered her way past Poe, who allowed her to go without pause. _They reacted _exactly _as I feared they would, _she admitted to herself as she clambered down the steps of the temple and into the dense jungle surrounding the stone structure. Tears flowed freely from her eyes, blurring her vision as she went.

_I'm alone._

_Alone._

* * *

"At what point did Rey ever start to have feelings for that murdering piece of intergalactic trash?" Poe blurted after several minutes of silence. He, Finn and BB-8 had returned to their cots in the center of the temple, but neither of the two men had the composure to be seated. Finn was pacing back and forth, his movements jerky, mechanical.

"I felt they had a connection through the Force from the beginning - that was obvious. But I had no idea it was - that it meant…" he broke off, at a loss for words.

After a few moments, he tried again. "I have very little understanding of the Force, but I know enough to know that opposing Force wielders can be inherently drawn to one another, destined enemies. Like when you hear people tell those stories about Obi Wan and Darth Vader. I thought… this whole time I thought… that _that_ was what was happening between Rey and Kylo Ren. Not that they were…"

"Romantically involved?" Poe volunteered. Finn shuddered.

"She only saw a handful of the things he did. The terrible, gruesome murders he orchestrated across the galaxy. She can't be in her right mind. He _must _be manipulating her."

"How? He's dead, she said so herself."

"Yeah, right after she claimed he had turned from the dark to help her destroy Palpatine. What if there's some bigger play here?"

"What do you mean?" Poe asked, thoroughly confused.

"Come on, can't you see? Everyone thought for _years _that Palpatine was dead only to find out he's actually been in hiding. Who's to say Ren isn't doing the same thing? What if he's somehow deceived Rey? Or ensnared her…" Finn trailed off, his mind spinning from the possibilities.

"I think we'd know if something was wrong with Rey, buddy. We know her pretty well." Poe said gently.

"Do we? She's been out here all alone for _three years_. We've barely spoken with her or seen her in person. We _don't _know her pretty well anymore, Poe. And we've left her to deal with this new line of attack from Ren."

BB-8 chattered with a few anxious beeps, his head sagging dejectedly. Poe watched the little droid for a few moments, then cleared his throat.

"I mean... and listen, it makes me nauseated to even suggest this, but don't you think there's a possibility she could be telling the truth? What if Ren really did turn, really did love her? What if we're wrong about this?" Poe threw up his hands in defense at Finn's glare. "Hey, look, I'm just asking the question."

Finn shook his head, resolute. "I know Ren. You know him. We're not wrong. And we need to save Rey."

Poe nodded, his expression grim. "Well, first we have to find her."

"We will," Finn said gravely. "I know how to find her."

* * *

Alone, insulated by the darkness and quiet of the jungle, Rey began to meditate.

_Be with me. _

_Be with me. _

_Be_

_With_

_Me_

She called Force energy to her, drawing it up from the soil, the branches above, the living creatures nestled in their burrows. She coaxed it until the power surged through her, lifting her above the ground. Hovering there, Rey lost herself in the warmth of the Force, relinquishing awareness of her surroundings. Around her, pebbles and jungle detritus began to tremble and oscillate.

There was power in her veins. She could feel it. It was surging beneath her skin, through her bones. She _would _find answers, even if it took manipulating the entire planet.

Her spirit called out through the energy, searching for Ben, for any semblance of an explanation for what had happened. The experience felt similar to racing through a darkened tunnel, hurtling toward a faint light ahead. Each moment she harnessed more of the Force, Rey felt as though she was growing closer and closer to the truth of it.

Encouraged, she unleashed every bit of herself, her control, to assuming Force energy. It was more power than she had ever attempted to control since Exogol, but she refused to relent.

_Be. With. Me. _

Rey vaguely registered electricity crackling. She was so close, so close. She knew it.

She could feel him there, just ahead. She just needed to -

In an instant, walls like adamant slammed into her consciousness. Her grip on the Force faltered, her connection to the energy around her suddenly muted. She slammed into ground, her body reeling from the sudden, violent contact.

Dazed, Rey rolled to her side, attempting to collect her mind.

_What is happening to me? _She thought desperately. _I had control, I was present. _She could not fathom a reason for the barricade she had felt. _Am I overpowered?_

So lost in her thoughts, Rey failed to hear the footfalls approaching where she lay in the dirt. Only when the boots appeared inches before her face did she realize she was not alone.

Craning her neck to view the body above her, she locked eyes with Finn. His face appeared haunted from what she could make of it in the murky moonlight.

"Rey," he said quietly. "We need to talk."


	6. The Precipice

*Author's Note: Please excuse the lateness of this update, and I hope you accept this long chapter as penance for the delay. Musical inspiration takes the form of "Satellite Heart" by Anya Marina. Thank you so much for all the reviews, favorites and follows! I have really enjoyed reading your thoughts and responses to my posts.

P.S. Good news: if you're missing Ben as much as I am, stay tuned for the upcoming chapters.

P.P.S. Bad news: I will be traveling over the next few days, so there is a strong possibility Chapter 6 will be uploaded in about 10 days time. Thanks for your patience!

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 5: The Precipice**

_Do I dare_

_Disturb the universe?_

_In a minute there is time_

_For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse._

_T.S. Eliot_

Rey gingerly raised herself into a standing position, her equilibrium sluggish after such a violent severance from the Force. She massaged the space where tailbone met spine in an effort to ease the stinging sensation pulsing there.

Refusing to meet Finn's eyes, she ducked her head and continued rubbing her lower back. "Right then, so talk."

"No." His voice carried loudly, causing the low-pitch murmurs of nearby wildlife to cease. "I think it's time that _you _talk. No more secrets. No more hiding in the jungle. I want the truth."

Rey huffed a sigh. "Finn, not all of it is my truth to tell."

"There's no one else alive to tell it," he retorted, mulish. She jerked inadvertently at the response.

Rey felt the comment like a serrated blade to an already hemorrhaging wound. She looked away, into the dense foliage spattered silver in the moonlight, unable to focus on anything in particular. The corners of her eyes smarted, threatening the release of tears she had no interest in losing while standing before Finn. _Fine_, she thought bitterly, _might as well get this over with and be done with it. _She twitched her nose and sharply sniffed.

"You only knew him as the creature in the mask. And I understand that."

She glanced at him, meeting his eyes, before looking away once more. It was much more difficult to discuss this having felt through the Force his knee-jerk reaction of disgust to her earlier outburst. To see something so precious to her through a lens of repulsion made her feel awkward, discomfited. Nevertheless, she pressed on, determined to finally release the truth, dignity be damned.

"I _do_ understand. You probably saw countless crimes Kylo Ren committed. But," she paused, pressing her lips together to keep her voice from wobbling over the next words. "_Ben Solo_ is not Kylo Ren. And though it hardly seems true, Ben _was_ there, behind that mask, buried so deep no one could see. Until the Force connected us… Until the very end."

Her voice broke as she spoke the last sentence aloud, as memories of her final moments with Ben flooded her mind. His toothy grin, the grip of his arms around her, his weight against her arms as his body slumped to the ground. Rey instinctively covered her mouth with the palm side of her fist.

Finn studied her, his expression inscrutable. At her silence, he scrubbed a hand against the back of his head, thinking. And after a pause, he swiveled about to look for a proper resting place. He spied a fallen log through the gloom and gestured awkwardly to the makeshift bench before taking a seat. Rey followed a few paces behind but remained standing.

Gazing up at her, he shifted forward to rest his forearms on the tops of his knees, his fingers interlaced before him. "Okay," he said. "Maybe you could start by explaining the Force connection with… _him_."

And so she did. She spent what seemed like hours parsing the details of her bond with then-Kylo Ren. She recalled the first of her connections with him, how she had attempted to shoot him on sight, refusing to engage in any conversation with someone she regarded as so abhorrent. She described the confusion she felt during the second instance they spoke face to face, how his tortured acceptance of being branded a monster was perhaps the genesis of her certainty that Ben Solo could, in fact, be exhumed from the guise of Kylo Ren.

From that point forward, she explained how she had ironically begun to treat him as more human than before. She became at least somewhat more amenable to conversing with the man behind the mask. She told Finn how, during their third encounter, she had learned of the critical mistake Luke Skywalker had made in his confrontation with Ben those many years ago. How Ben, thinking his uncle meant to murder him in his sleep, had wrought destruction on that temple and fled to the Dark side.

Rey noted the surprise on Finn's face as she relayed Ben's version of events to him. She could empathize with him, as she remembered feeling that same sense of disillusionment from hearing the story. Later on, she had felt an even greater sense of regret for Ben when Master Skywalker had confirmed his worlds-changing moment of misguided morality. In part, she believed it had been his lack of longsuffering and unconditional love that had propelled Ben Solo down the path to becoming Kylo Ren. Rey thought it had probably been a very lonely, agonizing path to tread.

She went on to tell Finn of how, when they connected a fourth time, Rey regarded Kylo Ren as more of a sad, desperate boy than a cold-blooded killer. Although she never for a moment fooled herself into believing that he could not be both, the brokenness of his spirit had spoken to her on a level unlike anything she had felt before. They were alike in many ways, spending much of their lives devoid of love and mercy. When at last they touched hands, she felt in her very spirit the gravity of their connection. She figured it was perhaps the first time in years that someone had touched Ben Solo, physically or emotionally, in a compassionate way. _Such a hollow face, _she remembered thinking. _So lonely. Like me. _

Although she had once before told Finn of her boarding the First Order's flagship and Snoke's subsequent assassination at the hands of Kylo Ren, it was an abridged version that had overlooked more significant moments. This time Rey recounted the entire episode that had taken place aboard the _Supremacy. _She explained that Ren had fought alongside her against the Praetorian Guards, how he had pleaded with her to join him and bring a new regime to power. She even admitted her longing to take his hand in that moment, knowing full well that Ben Solo still lived somewhere deep inside.

Finn made no move to speak while she continued pouring out confession after confession. He listened intently to her tell of the continued Force connections with Kylo Ren, once when they were on Pasaana and another during their brief moments aboard the _Supremacy _as the trio attempted to escape Kijimi and rescue Chewie. He was mute as she described how Kylo Ren had told her he would convince her to take his hand, how he had tried to coerce her by explaining their union through the Force, their "dyad" as he had described to Rey.

Finn did not interrupt her even as she recounted what she believed to have been her final moments with the man, how they had shared an embrace, how he had disappeared in what Rey had called "becoming one with the Force." And he watched as Rey spoke with joy about her recent visits through the Force with Kylo Ren, how she had grown accustomed to seeing him most nights. He noted her fear and confusion as she admitted to him that she feared something was terribly wrong since Kylo Ren had altogether disappeared the last time they had met. In truth, his heart ached for Rey, for the turmoil she had been through.

Rey could sense Finn's shifting emotions as her stories came to a close, her voice hoarse and cracked from speaking for so long. By the time she had finished pouring out her soul to him, the jungle expanse had taken on more definite shapes in the the gray light of early morning. Somewhere off in the distance, they could hear Ledevian creatures begin to stir.

Sitting cross-legged before Finn, who had remained seated on the log all this time, she waited for his response. Judging from the Force glimmers she picked up from him, she could tell some change had occurred in his thinking. It gave her hope that her confession might, in fact, result in a changed perspective.

Finally, Finn moved. He crouched to the ground, eyes level with hers as he took her hand and held it gently in his. As he opened his mouth. A beat of silence.

Then, "We are taking you home. Back with us."

* * *

_BEEP BEEP BRRRP _

_BEEP BEEP BRRRP _

Poe jerked awake to the sound of his communicator blaring in his ear. He did not remember falling back to sleep after Finn left, but the drool on his chin was evidence enough that he'd been unconscious for some period of time.

He reached haphazardly for the device and peered blearily at its message, blinking repeatedly in an effort to clear the sleep from his eyes. It was a report from headquarters.

OUTLYING STORMTROOPER UNIT ATTACKING DANTOOINE BASE. CIVILIAN CASUALTIES GROWING. REPORT BACK TO HQ.

Poe sat up, ramrod straight, once his mind put together the words on the screen. The rest of the report listed the details headquarters had gathered about the attack so far.

In an instant, he shrugged on his jacket and began lacing his boots. He needed to leave. Immediately. Rey's Force drama would have to wait.

And if Finn was not back by the time he had finished readying the Falcon, Poe was prepared to leave them both here.

* * *

Rey immediately jerked her hand from his grip. _That_ was not what she was expecting Finn to say. "_What?" _

"I mean it. It was a mistake to leave you here alone all this time. You've been unprotected," he paused, pursing his lips. "Vulnerable. And it is not going to continue, not when Ren is after you."

She scoffed, lurching forward to push herself up to her feet. "Finn. He's not 'after' me. He loves me."

It was Finn's turn to scoff. "_Come on, Rey._ Can you really be this naive?" He joined her in standing, his arms crossed defensively.

"Can you really be this blindly unyielding?" Rey retorted.

"Oh, I'm the one who's blind? You're claiming love for a man who _DESTROYED _the lives of countless people, myself included."

"You can't reduce him to only being a monster just because it is convenient to think no other way. The crimes he committed were horrendous, absolutely, but so were the wrongs his family committed against him," she argued.

"Oh, what, so we're just supposed to forgive him for everything all because he had a sad childhood?" His voice grew steadily louder. "Plenty of people have messed up lives and they don't murder half the galaxy because of it!" The surrounding jungle grew quiet at his shout.

Rey threw her hands in air, exasperated. "_Of_ _course _I'm not saying that! What I'm saying is that at some point, mercy should be shown to someone who realizes their mistakes or else the cycle of hate just continues!"

Finn glared at Rey for a moment, obviously irate. "I will never forgive a person who murders innocents for sport. I will not do it, and the fact that you're even spouting this nonsense proves that you are not yourself right now."

Rey took a step backward, tensing her body in preparation to leave. "I am myself, as I have always been. I have had three years to think on this," she said quietly, but with steel in her tone. "Things are not as black and white as you may choose to see them." She turned and began striding away.

Finn stomped after her, refusing to acquiesce. "You don't get to just walk away from this, Rey! I'm not going to allow Kylo Ren to destroy all that is good in you!"

Rey continued to clamber her way out of the jungle, refusing to entertain his misplaced protectionism for a moment longer. It infuriated her that, in his warped conception of her bond with Ben, Finn had robbed her of any agency or self-determination. She was not some starry-eyed idiot unable to tell the difference between right and wrong. Quite the opposite, really.

After all the fighting and the subsequent time to herself, Rey just could not see how separating the universe of action and inaction into only two categories could cultivate peace, or mercy. She felt that people - their thoughts and actions - well, they were much more complex than the labels so often given to them. _Right _and _Wrong_, _Light _and _Dark_. Rey had had enough of considering things in such confined terms. She would not go back to doing so just to appease Finn.

"Go home, Finn," she said sternly, calling back to him over her shoulder.

"I am not leaving you alone. Not like this," he replied from several paces behind her.

Rey bit her tongue to keep herself from screaming obscenities at him. There were many she thought about using; she had picked up plenty of colorful insults during her life on Jakku. Instead, she quickened her pace, trying to distance herself from him.

After a few moments, she noticed the density of the surrounding foliage was waning. They were only a short distance away from the temple. Behind her, she could her Finn crashing through the undergrowth in an effort to keep up.

She did not wait for him.

As she broke through the trees into the clearing where the temple stood, she spied Poe loading their supplies on the _Millennium Falcon, _which was situated a short distance away. BB-8 was wheeling about the undercarriage, performing what appeared to be several pre-take off scans.

_Good_, Rey thought. _At least_ _someone in this trio respects personal space. _

Poe barely acknowledged her presence as she neared the _Falcon_, glancing at her for a moment before continuing to haul his cot and some perishables up the boarding ramp. Rey assumed his reticence was a holdover from last night's confession.

"You're leaving?" she called up to Poe. She waited a few moments, but no response came apart from the sounds of cargo being shuffled inside.

Finn had finally caught up with her, panting slightly as he took in the scene before him.

"Poe, what's going on?" he asked.

Poe jogged down the ramp and moved to gather more supplies. "We're leaving. There's been an assault on Dantooine. Some remnants of a stormtrooper platoon attacked our base there."

"_What?" _Rey asked, incredulous. "I thought you told me months ago that our forces had cleared out all the holdover regiments from the First Order."

"Yeah, well, looks like we were wrong," Poe replied bitterly. He looked to Finn. "Come on, we need to get back to headquarters. People are expecting us there now."

Finn shook his head. "We can't leave without Rey. She's not safe here by herself."

Rey whipped her head around to glare at Finn. She puffed up, ready to resume their shouting match from earlier, when Poe held up his hands to stop both of them.

"Listen," he said tersely. "If Rey wants to stay here in these ruins and talk to ghosts, then I'm not stopping her. This is a battle for another day, and we need to focus on the innocents being slaughtered on Dantooine _right now as we speak_." His gaze darted between both of them, daring them to argue. When they remained silent, he continued.

"Rey, we are coming back as soon as we deal with this attack. Finn is right in that you shouldn't be out here alone anymore." He turned to Finn, glaring. "We are not leaving her alone. BB-8 is going to stay behind and keep an eye on things until we return." He then addressed both of them.

"Deal, you two?"

Rey nodded mutely, her physical and emotional exhaustion beginning to catch up with her. Finn grunted a response that seemed like acceptance. Satisfied, Poe resumed his packing with Finn's help while Rey scaled the steps to the temple's entrance.

* * *

Finn and Poe left later that afternoon, BB-8 and Rey standing in the clearing to watch them take off. When at last they disappeared from view, she turned and knelt before the little droid. It wiggled and emitted a few quiet beeps.

"To be honest, I'm glad you're staying with me," she confessed, fiddling with its antenna. "I've missed you an awful lot."

BB-8's head swiveled around to peer up at her. It let out a few more beeps, which Rey took to mean it felt the same way. She gave a small smile.

"Come on, let's get back inside."

* * *

Throughout the next few weeks, Rey's routine once again assumed a different momentum. She continued to rebuild the temple with the help of BB-8, who sped up the process quite dramatically. The droid was adept at analyzing the integrity of the building as well as the pieces Rey either recovered or crafted to restore the rooms and foundation. Between BB-8's analysis and her use of the Force to piece the temple back together, Rey figured she would be ready to house and train students within the next fortnight.

She told Finn and Poe as much in her communications with them using the messaging device in her room. From their reports, efforts to completely stamp out the stormtrooper regiment on Dantooine was taking longer than they expected. Their return had already been postponed three times.

With BB-8 beside her, Rey did not mind their delays - especially Finn's. Having company, even in the form of a non-verbal droid, was much appreciated. Its tinkering and happy beeps filled her days with more levity, and it also distracted her from spiraling into fear for Ben.

When she was not working on the temple, Rey secluded herself in the jungle to continue meditating in the Force. She attempted over and over again to locate Ben, or any former Jedi who would answer her questions about what had happened. She was met with no success. Each time that same adamant barrier slammed against her Force connection when she attempted to harness more energy than she could reliably control.

One evening after yet another failed attempt, Rey slammed both fists onto the ground. The earth shook around her, and she blinked in surprise as she felt its tremble. In her anger, she had not realized she had been using Force energy to hit the jungle floor.

The small voice inside her warned that her behavior of late was teetering dangerously toward the Dark. While part of her was growing increasingly concerned with the ease to which she accessed emotions more closely associated with that side of the Force, Rey remained obstinate in her search for Ben. She refused to let him go, not when they had been so close at last.

_And if that means that love and anger are what fuel me? Well, _she thought, _my intentions are good. That should be what matters. _

Distracted by her internal thought process, Rey mechanically made her way through the jungle back to the temple. The twilight hours of evening colored everything on Ledeve in purple and pinkish tones. It was not until she reached the bottom step of the temple stairs that she noticed the figures standing at the top.

Their profiles flickered in the evening light, the bluish tones glowing slightly. They were almost corporeal, but through their transparency she could see to the rest of the temple entrance. BB-8 was behind them, its little body transfixed on the Force ghosts before it.

Masters Luke and Leia.

Rey's jaw slackened as she registered their presence.

"Rey," Luke said, peering down at her. "What are you doing?"


	7. Revelations

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 6: Revelations**

_But your solitude will be a support and a home for you, _

_even in the midst of very unfamiliar circumstances, _

_and from it you will find all your paths._

_Rainer Maria Rilke_

Snapping to her senses, Rey clambered quickly up the steps to reach her former masters. Her satchel and staff clanked and bobbed against one another as she ran. Upon reaching the top, she looked to both Luke and Leia, grinning. _Surely this a sign; they are here to help. _

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to talk with you. I've been trying to reach someone, anyone. I'm so glad the Force sent you," the words spilled nearly over top of one another as she spoke. At the twins continued silence, Rey pressed on.

"Listen, I think there is something wrong with Ben. This may come as a bit of a shock… We've actually been in communication through the Force for some weeks now. But something happened recently and he disappeared altogether. And now I can't find him. I'm even having trouble using Force energy. Do either of you know what this could mean?"

Luke and Leia exchanged looks, communicating through some silent sibling speak that was completely indecipherable to Rey. Then Leia shifted her gaze to Rey, her chin raising imperceptibly as if steeling herself for whatever was to happen next.

"We know Ben has been contacting you," Leia responded quietly, but with an edge in her tone. When she made no move to continue, Rey released a breath she did not realize she had been holding.

"Oh," she responded, unable to come up with a more dignified response. "Well… then I guess you know that we -"

"Have nearly upended the balance of both nature and Force energy through your selfishness? Yes we are well aware," Luke erupted.

Rey took an involuntary step backward, her thoughts tumbling disjointedly as she tried to make sense of his response, at their seemingly disappointed expressions as they continued gazing at her. Her brows furrowed.

"I… forgive me, but I don't know what you mean. How could we have nearly upended the balance of things just by seeing each other?" Rey's tongue felt like lead in her mouth as she tried to craft a coherent response. This was _not _how she imagined Luke and Leia would be greeting her after all these years of silence.

Luke sighed impatiently, the anger evident in the set of his shoulders, in the crease between his brows. For her part, Leia looked incredibly discomfited. Her fingers, though interlaced, tapped and wiggled against one another as though the entire conversation was one she would have rather bypassed altogether. Given their distinct behaviors, Rey surmised this visit was more of Luke's doing than his sister's, especially given his predisposition to mistrusting anything Ben had done while they both were alive.

"Did you ever consider the _way _in which you were meeting with Ben? How it defied any other experience you have had, or have heard of having, when interacting with Force ghosts?" Luke asked, as though the reason for his disapproval was stunningly evident.

"I…," Rey faltered. She _had not _thought about that. "I suppose… That yes, the experiences were certainly strange compared to the times I've met you, or read about other Jedis meeting spirits..."

At her admission, Luke splayed his hands in a gesture of obviousness and nodded his head. Leia pursed her lips and glared at her brother, while Rey began to feel a similar sense of annoyance at his blatantly rude behavior.

"In my defense, I've had no formal training in the Force. So how am I supposed to gather what are acceptable forms of communication between the living and the dead?" Rey spat.

"When it is plain to see that the 'experiences' come from using Force abilities beyond those that a Jedi restrains themselves to!" Luke countered. "You've allowed your judgment to be clouded by emotion - your compassion for him and your misery for your situation. Can you even fathom what would have happened if -"

"Luke, control yourself," Leia interjected. "Rey is perfectly capable of understanding this predicament without your blustering." Luke's face twisted into a stony expression, but he did not press on.

Rey, however, refused to allow Luke's accusations to remain unchallenged. She could feel the ire and defensiveness rising in her, bubbling up from her diaphragm and lungs to manifest themselves in the breath that carried her next words.

"I _AM_ MISERABLE," she shouted. "I have been ALONE, only marginally better than all those years on Jakku. Left to preserve a way of life that I have VERY little experience living out myself. And the being who was destined to be my complement is DEAD. Ben is gone, and I loved him, and… and now…" she trailed off, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. The taste of salt water seeped into the corners of her mouth, but she made no attempt to wipe it away.

Leia moved to comfort Rey, her translucent arms wrapping around her in an effort to stymie her grief. Rey could only just feel the faintest of pressure from Leia's touch, as if a phantom wind had come to rest about her shoulders. It was the touch of a mother who had perhaps assumed that caretaker position many times in life. Rey savored the comforting gesture.

While Luke remained stern in his posture, his next words were delivered with slightly more leniency. "Rey. You are not alone." He moved to stand closer to her and gestured to the temple. "Even here, in your self-imposed seclusion from your friends. You have the support and attention of all Jedi long since passed. We are with you, in spirit. We are supporting you as you rebuild this school, supporting you in ways you do not yet realize. You _will _meet success in training the next generation. But you must be content in this responsibility."

For a moment, Rey considered his words. It was a lovely picture, the existence he was painting for her with those hues of security and togetherness. How she was to lead the new Jedi forward and take heart in the nobility of this singular, humbling cause. How generations upon generations of Jedi past looked on as she struggled to carve out a sanctum for the new padawans of this age. Indeed, it was a magnificent work to behold - if it was only viewed at a distance.

What Luke neglected to acknowledge, or perhaps even realize, was the abject loneliness such responsibility created within a person. Try as she might, Rey could not see the version of her life that he described as something reputable, or even desirable. His was the vision of someone unaffected by the circumstance, who did not understand the sense of terror and instability that she had felt on a daily basis since the battle on Exogol.

And, if Rey was truthful with herself, Ben's reappearance had made that responsibility seem more bearable. Even if the onus was still on her to lead the next Jedi, she felt sure his presence would have been a bulwark to keep the despair and doubt at bay. He was her complement in the Force - _two that are one. _

Moments passed before Rey finally replied.

"Master Skywalker, it is _not _enough. If you all have been watching as you say you have, then you know this. You know my existence here before I was able to see Ben, and you see it now. You know my training is insufficient, and you know my predisposition in the Force walks the line between Light and Dark. I truly think if we were reunited somehow then things would be more stable. _Please, _if you could just tell me how to _fix _this, whatever has happened to him, I know things would be-"

"You cannot continue to see Ben in this way. It is not natural. It is not the way of the Light," Luke objected.

"Rey, listen to us," Leia implored, while one of her hands stroked Rey's shoulder. "To continue seeing Ben would be destructive for both of you as well as the balance within the Force. The living and the dead cannot coexist in the way you experienced. His attempts to contact you were warping the very nature of Force energy. It threatened the continuity of everything, and he was willing to risk that each time he visited you." Rey opened her mouth to object, but before she could do so, Leia raised a hand to silence her.

"_Listen to us_. I know that you love my son. I know that you are a mated pair, and I will forever be indebted to you for saving his soul from destruction. For seeing the good that had been suppressed within him for so long. But, _Rey_, the way things are, that is how they must remain. For the sake of universal balance. You _must _accept this."

Rey could sense her sincerity. In truth, she could sense the goodness in both of them and understood their motivations were to protect, not punish. Still, Rey could not shake her assertion that their beliefs, while propelled by good intentions, were misplaced.

Clearing her throat, Rey stepped away from the two Jedi. "I appreciate your concern. I do. And I also appreciate your honesty. It is out of utmost respect and love for the two of you that I feel I must also be honest."

She clenched her fists before uttering, "I will not stop looking for Ben. I will not rest until I know he is safe, and if that means I continue trying to bend the Force to achieve this, then that is what will have to happen."

In the wake of her words, Leia's face slackened. It hurt Rey to see the look of shock and dismay on her face, that Rey would so blatantly disregard their counsel. Luke, on the other hand, appeared incensed.

"If you cannot see reason, then you give us no choice," Luke said severely, jabbing a finger in her direction. "We will continue to ensure neither of you upset the balance of life, even if it should come at the expense of the Jedi's future."

Rey was stunned. _What is he saying, that they will continue to ensure Ben and I stay apart?_

"What - what are you talking about?" she asked, thoroughly nonplussed. "Are you saying you _do _know what's happened to my abilities? And to Ben?"

"Of course we do," Luke replied loftily. "Who do you think suppressed the link between the two of you entirely?"

* * *

Poe had argued heavily against Finn joining on-the-ground troops in Dantooine as the Alliance, formerly known as the _Rebel _Alliance, continued to stave off attacks from First Order stormtroopers. It was too dangerous of a situation for his co-general to use as a means of blowing off steam from his fight with Rey. Poe figured there were better ways to work through woman troubles, ways that could be found at the bottom of a glass or through a particularly dangerous spice run.

In the end, Finn had won the argument simply by boarding a landing ship headed to Dantooine with reinforcement troops while Poe was trapped listening to incoming reports from lieutenants on the field. It was a sly move on Finn's part, but Poe begrudgingly appreciated his co-general's pigheadedness. It was a major reason they argued frequently, true, but it was also a commonality that made them indomitable when aligned.

Sitting at the helm of an Alliance star cruiser, Poe listened to Finn's recounting of the troops' latest reclaiming efforts of Dantooine territory. The hologram connection was spotty, and Finn's projection warped and flickered at irregular intervals.

"Our unit was able to secure the remote base near the Fields of Banir, with only minor injury. There's a pretty extensive cave system near the fields, though. Lieutenant Alax believes there's a high chance more stormtroopers are lying in wait somewhere down in those tunnels. For now, we've set up a campsite in the first chamber you come to within the system. We'll be able to hear anything stirring if they attempt a stealth attack," Finn reported.

"That's great, buddy. Does Lieutenant Alax believe this is the last of the stormtrooper holdouts, what remains in the caves?" Poe asked.

"She does. We've spoken with other lieutenants stationed around the continent. There's been no other signs of stormtrooper activity. This last platoon is only living on borrowed time. So I-" Finn broke off suddenly as he swiveled to focus his attention on something behind him, unseen to Poe's eyes.

"Everything okay there?" Poe questioned, squinting at the hologram. Finn now assumed a crouched position, talking to someone in hushed tones. His words were incomprehensible to Poe, given the weak connection and Finn's back to the hologram lens.

After a few moments, Finn stood and faced the communication link once more. Pressing his lips together, he nodded as if to himself before speaking. "Poe, there's something else you should know," he said seriously.

Poe braced himself for whatever information was to come. "OK. Just give it to me straight," he said carefully.

"When we reclaimed the base earlier, we found a child. Around 10 years old. Looks to be a descendant of the Zabrak. She was alone, hiding in one of the smaller tunnels that's an offshoot from the main cavern." In a lower tone, he said, "We think she's an orphan. We didn't find any bodies when we infiltrated the stormtrooper camp here, but there was plenty of dried blood and evidence that some folks had lived here before."

He craned his neck to look behind him once more, presumably to where the child was resting. Satisfied, he focused again on Poe's image and whispered, "she's barely speaking to us, so we haven't learned much more. Well except for…" he trailed off, at a loss for how to continue.

"Except for what?" Poe prompted.

"She's… a Force user. And a pretty powerful one at that. I was the one who found her. Sensed her, really. When I came through the tunnel, I found her in a complete panic," Finn explained.

"How do you figure that makes her a Force user?" Poe asked.

"Because there were rocks and debris hovering all around her. Like… well, like we saw with Rey."

* * *

*Author's Note: Plopping these notes at the end of each chapter now so you can focus on the story rather than my ramblings. Thanks for your patience as this last chapter underwent longer delays than I previously intended. You can blame it on my penchant for over-analyzing and over-editing to make this story the best it can be for you readers. I hope you enjoy! If you're wondering where the heck Ben is at, don't worry. I'm ~very~ excited for the upcoming chapters.


	8. Grayscale

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 7: Grayscale**

_The color of truth is gray._

_Andre Gide_

While perhaps it was true that, for some, anger felt akin to the severe, unmistakable edge of a knife, to Rey it had always felt wholly different. An inky black swirl of emotions that clung to her like a fog - amorphous and intangible, but bursting with potential. As if it were primed for her to shape it. Pushing her to use it.

One particular occasion would always stick with her, when she had first felt that surge of dark fury. It had been during her life on Jakku, a few years before her encounter with BB-8 and Finn, back when she was scavenging to survive.

Unkar Plutt had offered her only three portions for one particularly good repulsorlift she had swiped from an old Imperial probe droid, long since expired. A piece that rare should have been worth weeks, maybe even a month or two, of portions. It was completely insulting to be handed a measly supply for such a high-price find. Standing before his counter, Rey's entire frame had shivered from that dark anger, her body straining to control the wave of pure hatred that jolted through her. What happened next was a blur, but she clearly remembered walking away with the portions commensurate to her hard work. Unkar Plutt had never shortchanged her that severely again.

Her anger then had been due to an empty stomach, an abject, primal need to keep her body alive. Now, as she faced the twin spirits, it was worse. Much worse. And from her brief Force training, Rey distantly recognized that the light-absorbing anger she felt was actually the Dark, calling to her, tensed and ready to be unleashed if only she would acquiesce.

It was difficult to resist that temptation as she looked at Luke reproachfully, her mind grappling with the news that it had been the two of them, Luke _and _Leia, who had been keeping her from Ben. Had taken him away from her.

Her soulmate. Her dyad counterpart. _Hers_.

Rey could feel the urge to unleash electric energy from her fingertips, her skin alight with that heady power to conquer, subjugate, control. She knew Luke and Leia could feel it, too. That they could sense the powerful storm of emotions barreling through her. Leia studied her, brows lifting her face into an expression of concern.

"Look at yourself," Luke snapped, momentarily distracting Rey from the fury inside her. "The Dark is roiling beneath the surface - you are barely suppressing it. This is the path that obsession creates. You _must _let go of Ben. _Resist _the urge to act on these emotions, Rey."

"You took him from me," she seethed. "You separated us. And _this _is the path that severing a dyad creates."

"Rey, you were already separated, as it was meant to be," Leia firmly reminded her.

"_No, _I was meant to _die _on Exogol. I _was _dead. Ben saved me, _gave _his life for me. But either way it doesn't matter - don't you see that?" She did not wait for their response. She _needed _them to understand what had grown increasingly clear to her in recent days.

"We are _not_ _meant _to be separated. We're both too powerful, too unbalanced when apart. You have only to look at what Ben has done, what I have done, to see that. _Surely you can see that. _I don't understand much about this bond, but I do know that there is too much instability when we aren't together. I feel…," she flung out her hands helplessly, searching for the words that would make them see the truth. "... Volatile. I am struggling _not _to use so much Force energy and… and I can feel the Dark, stronger than I ever have. I don't think it's because I'm obsessed with seeing Ben," she paused, her gaze lowered to the ground, momentarily absorbed in her thoughts.

Luke's expression was dubious as he studied her somewhat erratic behavior. Leia, too, appeared unconvinced. When Rey remained quiet, he broke the silence.

"So then why, Rey, do you think you feel a stronger call to the Dark," he said, his intonation flattening the question into something blunt, unfeeling.

Rey's mind was racing, her thoughts a blur as they chased one another around and around this theory that had suddenly burst within her. _It shouldn't be that simple, _she thought. _It shouldn't be, and yet… it is. _

"We make it gray," she murmured aloud.

In an instant, the rage she had felt bucking inside her, poised to attack, stilled. It was as though a wave, in the midst of readying itself to crash against the shore, had simply stopped.

"_What?" _Luke asked, eyes narrowed in a confused glare.

She took a deep breath in, then exhaled. "Together, we make the Force into something gray. Balanced. Neither good nor evil, light nor dark. Just… gray," she looked up at them then, a faint smile hiding near the corners of her mouth.

"There haven't been Gray Jedi in years," Leia carefully replied. "The Council was not particularly supportive of their moral code if my memory serves."

"There isn't a council left," Rey said simply. "There aren't any Jedi left, or Sith. There's just me. And I say this, not out of pride, but in truth: Alone, I am too powerful for anyone's good. So is Ben, even in the afterlife." She paused. "I don't think the galaxy is meant to separate a dyad," she finished in a whisper.

Luke and Leia exchanged glances, their expressions inscrutable to Rey. But that seemed of little consequence to her at the moment. Reeling from the sudden absence of that angry maelstrom inside, she felt a sense of inexplicable calm. As if her mind had finally pieced together the puzzle she'd unknowingly began assembling all those years ago.

Rather than focus on her former masters, she turned her head instead to look out at the horizon, marveling at the beauty of the jungle planet as the last umber rays of light stretched like tendrils toward the rest of the purpled sky. It was peaceful, she thought. And somewhat melancholic.

Still turned toward the direction of the day's last light, she spoke quietly. "You should leave me to die."

After a beat of surprise, it was Leia who responded with an edge of frustration in her voice. "Absolutely out of the question. Rey, be rational."

She turned to meet Leia's gaze. "I _am_ being rational. You should leave me to die, or allow Ben to return. I just told you: our bond should not be severed. I think the Force has been trying to prove that all these years."

Luke visibly sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "One of those options is completely out of the question, and the other is for you to decide yourself. Let's stop with the dramatics and maintain _at least a semblance _of clarity."

But Rey was beyond feeling the sting of his replies, his refusals to consider her perspective. She lifted her chin and spoke without reservation. "He should be given a chance to prove himself the man I know him to be. He should be given a chance to help me restore balance. Or, the obstacle to such balance for this galaxy should be eliminated, which is me. Either way, I will not go on growing as a conduit for Darkness, which truthfully is what I believe is happening." As an afterthought, she added, "I am only human, with emotions that I cannot simply set aside."

"Centuries of Jedi would argue that you are, in fact, capable of doing just that," Luke growled.

"Would they? Look at your life, look at Leia's. Look at Obi-Wan Kenobi's, Annakin Skywalker's, Mace Windu's. The list goes on and on. _None _of you were true ascetics, not in the way the Jedi tradition calls us to be." She let loose a breathy chuckle. "_Because it's not possible_. You all made mistakes, just as I have, but the difference is that I don't have the luxury that you did. I can't balance mine amidst the power and goodwill of scores of other Jedi _because I am all that's left_."

After a moment, after regaining her composure, she continued. "So, the options left before us seem very simple: bring Ben back to me, or leave me here to make my own arrangements. Either way, I _will not_ become the ruin of the Force."

Rey could sense Luke preparing to launch himself into another passionate reply and braced herself for its impact. But, to her and Luke's complete surprise, Leia raised a hand to halt him. She turned fully to face Rey, and in a brittle voice replied.

"So be it."

Between the milliseconds that passed as Rey blinked her eyes, they were gone.

* * *

**Author's Note: Thanks for your patience - COVID-19 outbreak has taken a toll on my mental health. We're back on track with this latest chapter. Be on the lookout for the following chapter within the next few days. I'm really excited for Chapter 8 (spoilers - it's entitled "A Home") As I have said before, I've loved reading your reviews and theories! It makes me happy to know there are folks out there who have actually been enjoying this.


	9. A Home

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**Chapter 8: A Home**

**Several Days Later**

_Not always shall you be what you are now. _

_You are going forward toward something great. _

_I am on the way with you and therefore I love you._

_Carl Sandberg_

Her name was Drakka. She was 10 years old. She had no understanding of how strong her Force power was.

Finn had managed to extract only a few details from the child since he and some other Alliance fighters had found her in one of the many offshoot tunnels in the Dantooine cave system. She mostly sat off to herself, away from the troops and campsite, chewing her lip or otherwise nibbling on one of her stubby, juvenile fingers.

Finn noted that the others did not seem to mind, seemed to prefer it that way, really. He reckoned the story of how they found her had wended its way among the troop. That, plus the tiny horns that ringed her head like a natural crown, had been the subject of stares and whispers from many of the fighters old enough to remember stories of Darth Maul told by their parents and grandparents. Finn had overheard them intermittently, although he refused to indulge anyone by joining in the conversation. She was an orphaned child, not an insidious killer from the past.

It was in the evening of the fifth day Drakka had been with the camp that Finn decided on an alternative method to connect with the little girl. Putting together a small helping of portion bread and root leaf stew, Finn carefully trod over to where Drakka had perched in a corner of the large cave chamber. Her solemn gaze tracked his every movement, her eyes owlish in the dull glow of the campfire.

"I thought you might be hungry," he said to her in a gentle, hushed tone. "I brought you some dinner."

"Thank you," she mumbled, her voice scratchy from disuse. She cupped the bowl of soup, keeping the ration of bread balanced on her leg.

"Is it okay if I sit with you a bit?" Finn asked. At the slight affirmative bob of her head, he took a seat opposite her, drawing his legs in to sit cross-legged. She raised the bowl to her lips and began drinking in the stew.

"Drakka," he began carefully. "Do you think you would like to leave this place? Go somewhere different?" he suggested.

The little girl paused her eating, the bowl drooping from her mouth as she considered his question. Despite knowing almost nothing of consequence about the child, Finn could gather from her mannerisms and observation of others that Drakka was no fool. If anything, he would have bet money the girl was wise beyond her years already, at only 11 years old. His innate curiosity itched to know more about her past, to learn the details that had led Drakka to being found alone in a bloodstained room with Force energy radiating off her in waves. But he held it back, determined to do his utmost to ensure Drakka walked out of this cave with her sanity still intact.

After a few moments of contemplation, she spoke. "If I left, I wouldn't know when they came back."

Finn tensed, considering the meaning of her words. It was the first time Drakka had mentioned a _they _at all, and he knew his next reactions would need to be carefully crafted. Thinking it best not to draw attention to the fact she was sharing new information with him, Finn feigned an air of casualness in his next reply.

"I see. Who do you mean by 'they'?"

Drakka swallowed loudly, her bowl of stew nearly empty. "My mother. And father. My aunt."

_Oh stars, _Finn thought. His heart broke for the child. Though they had found no bodies remaining in the parts of the cave system they had explored, Finn was quite sure he knew the fate of Drakka's family had been sealed. The stormtrooper unit had destroyed them, likely dragging their bodies deeper into the caves to loot and discard them. He put nothing past a band of scavenger stormtroopers; they were desperate, hungry and derelict.

Of course, he knew he could not reveal any of those thoughts to her. Even now, the girl was only a few shades away from being completely catatonic. The last thing she needed to hear was the awful truth that was now her reality: she was completely alone.

Immediately his mind shifted to thoughts of Rey as he considered Drakka, sitting stoically and munching on a bit of portion bread. His mind conjured an image of Rey at that age - similarly alone, confused, and without a soul who truly cared for her. He wondered if Rey had likewise had bouts of uncontrollable Force energy coursing through her young veins, and if she had ever come to make sense of what was happening to her. Already, there were striking similarities between Drakka and Rey, similarities that neither should have had to claim as part of their identities.

Drawing himself back to the present, Finn refocused his attention to Drakka. She had finished eating and was now flicking crumbs idly from the rough canvas of her trousers. She was so small. And so very, very young.

"Drakka?" Finn asked. The little girl raised her head to meet his gaze.

"Yes, Finn?" she responded, his name carrying a foreign lilt as she spoke. After having heard her talk more, he realized her accent was one he had never heard before. It was a strange little quirk that left him with even more questions.

"I have a friend I would really like you to meet. Her name is Rey. She's very similar to you," he spoke in a soft but clear tone.

Drakka considered his words. "Rey… can also move things without touching them? Sense things?" He was not surprised Drakka had made the connection so quickly. The child seemed to have incredible intuition.

"Yes, she can. And she's very good at those things. She might even be able to teach you a few new things. Do you think you might like that?"

Drakka pursed her lips, her face more serious than any 10-year-old's he had seen before. "My mother said she would teach me how to be better at those things soon. But maybe… maybe I could see Rey and learn something new that would surprise her?"

Finn's eyes pricked with tears he refused to let fall in the child's presence. It was almost too much to bear. Taking in a deep breath to steel himself, he plastered an artificial smile on his face.

"Yes, I bet she'd like that. Very much," he replied.

Drakka nodded seriously to herself, as though Finn's remarks had confirmed her own suspicion. "I would like to meet Rey, then," she said in a small voice.

"All right then. We will head out to meet her soon. I promise."

"And then you'll bring me back?" Drakka asked, her gaze boring into Finn's face.

"Yes, Drakka. And then I'll bring you back."

After ensuring the child had had enough to eat and was settled for the night, he bid her goodbye and returned to his tent. It was not situated far from where Drakka slept in case she would need something or, stars forbid, have another Force-energy episode.

Finn reached for the communicator he kept by his cot and fired off a quick message to Poe before changing for bed.

NEED EXTRACTION CRUISER SOON. TAKING CHILD TO REY. SHE HAS HER FIRST STUDENT.

* * *

Rey had barely slept in the days since the altercation with Luke and Leia. It was only when her body had refused to carry her any further did she slouch against the temple walls for brief periods of rest. She refused to sleep in her makeshift room, feeling that it held too many memories and nightmares now for her to find any comfort there.

She had stopped searching for Ben. She knew now it was impossible to reach him as she was, thanks to the work of the Skywalker twins.

In the hours following their encounter, Rey had grappled with the aftermath of feelings she felt toward her former masters. Luke had seemed so needlessly cruel, an altogether new experience for her since he had not treated her with such spite before. Leia, too, had appeared uncharacteristically agitated and distant.

While Rey could only guess at the true reasons behind their behavior, she reasonably assumed it had had more to do with both of their relationships with Ben than with her personally. She reminded herself that Luke had heavily mistrusted Ben while alive, even before Ben had assumed the name of Kylo Ren.

Leia's responses, on the other hand, were more of an enigma to her. She imagined it had something to do with the complexities of motherhood, but that was an altogether foreign concept to Rey. She had very vague conceptions of what being a mother entailed, and it was not enough to understand the position in which Leia found herself.

In the end, Rey decided their behavior was of little consequence when it came to her plans. She had spoken with absolute certainty when she told Luke and Leia she would not continue to linger in this lifetime as half of a Force-ordained whole. Having heard nothing more from the twins since their visit, which had been days ago, she took their silence to be an answer in itself.

She knew what she had to do.

It was why she was not sleeping, why she was barely eating.

Rey had decided to weaken herself intentionally so that one good heave of Force energy, one final surge of power, would be enough to sap the entirety of her body's strength. Then it would be over, the balance would be restored, and she would be at peace.

She would see Ben again.

She hoped they would meet once more at the beautiful temple near the lake. She wanted to hear the gulls calling once again, hear the breeze whisper through the branches of that ancient tree under which she and Ben had lounged for hours.

But until that time, Rey had put her many hours of forced consciousness to good use by completing the final renovations to the temple. BB-8 had assisted her when needed, albeit rather hesitantly. Somewhere within its cogs and artificial synapses, the little droid could sense something very off-kilter in Rey. Despite BB-8's attempts to force her into taking breaks, which mostly involved moving her tools and rearranging some of the interior infrastructure of the temple, its intercessions did little to slow her progress. Rey burned through burst after burst of Force energy to finalize the school until finally, _finally, _the structure was complete.

It was in the afternoon of the fifth day since Luke and Leia's visit when she slumped against the entryway to the temple, sweat-slick and utterly spent. BB-8 rolled to a halt next to her, opening a panel in its body to produce a small fan that began blowing in her direction. Rey gave the droid a small smile and patted its side.

"Thank you, BB-8. You've been a tremendous help," she said quietly. BB-8 hummed in response.

Rey sat at the temple entrance with the droid for a while, resting and thinking. There were just a few last-minute preparations she needed to take care of and then everything would be settled. She looked inward, observing her emotions, but was distantly surprised to find no active feeling of fear clouding her mind. Instead, all she could feel was peace and assurance. It was a strange sensation, but she was sure everything was unfolding as it should.

On a whim, Rey rose shakily to her feet and began walking down the steps. BB-8 released a flutter of worried beeps behind her, but she called to him over her shoulder.

"Come on, BB-8," she said "We won't be but a little bit. I just want to take a walk through the jungle."

_Just one last time_, she added to herself.

* * *

The plans were in place. They would be leaving for Ledeve in the morning.

Poe had responded almost immediately to Finn's message, sending him the coordinates for where he and Drakka should meet the extraction cruiser the next day.

Finn's body was buzzing with anticipation. It had nearly worried him senseless that Rey had been left to her own devices for several weeks longer than he had originally planned. He hoped BB-8 had at least been of some help to her since he and Poe had left. He reasoned that perhaps having the longtime companion around would ground her to the present, help her avoid thoughts of Kylo Ren and whatever lies his lingering presence had tried to spin. Teaching Drakka would surely distract her, seeing as it would be a full-time job that required all of her attention.

Lying in his cot, Finn mulled over whether or not to send Rey a message in advance of their arrival. On the one hand, he thought it might be exciting to surprise her with an introduction to her first student. On the other, he knew Drakka would not be the easiest youngling with which to begin a school. Her capabilities in the Force were already considerable, and the unacknowledged trauma from losing her family would pose many challenges throughout her training. But Finn felt sure that if anyone could help Drakka carve a path forward for herself in this life, it would be Rey.

In the end, he decided to send Rey a brief message through the communicator.

COMING BACK IN TWO DAYS. I FOUND A STUDENT. SHE IS VERY MUCH LIKE YOU. SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP.

At dusk, she emerged from the dense jungle that surrounded the clearing. From her peripheral vision, she noted the temple standing to her right. She felt no hurry to return to it; later there would be time to commit her years-long project to memory. Instead, Rey found herself wanting more than anything to absorb the feeling of this moment, the wonder of seeing the world around her as it carried on without notice or concern for her consideration.

A peculiarly cool breeze carried through the open area, cooling the beads of sweat that had formed on the nape of her neck. With BB-8 at her side, quietly humming, Rey opened all senses to take in the view, cherishing this time when day and night seemed undeniably intertwined. Everything she could see was lit with the warm honey tones of the sun's last rays, edges of leaves and grass blades limned with liquid gold. Even her skin appeared gilded in the places where the light kissed her goodnight.

Rey listened as the creatures of Ledeve called out their final songs for the day, the echoes of birdsong quieting until they became a soft murmur. She halfheartedly wished to be one of those creatures, perhaps one of the birds that circled high above, carried effortlessly through the air as though it had been ordained to do so. She imagined their lives to be so simple, unencumbered by the meaning of their existence or its implications for the rest of flora and fauna. She wondered what it would be like to have that sort of consciousness, to unknowingly be born into such weightless freedom. Tears slipped silently down her face at the idea.

After a few moments, Rey withdrew from her internal ponderings and collected herself. There was still things to do before she planned to take her leave, instructions she would write, texts she would store for Finn and other Force-sensitive beings to find. Shaking her head in an effort to focus, she turned and began walking toward the temple. BB-8 warily followed a few paces behind her.

It was not until she had cleared the first landing that she noticed the lone figure sitting on the steps above her. Leaning forward, his elbows rested on the tops of his knees, his fingers loosely interlaced before him. Watching her. Looking at her with an expression as though home had finally appeared on the horizon.

Years later, Rey would still be unable to articulate the moment she looked up. _It was like breathing for the first time_, she would say to those who would ask her to tell the story. _As though you did not realize your lungs had yet to expand with air, or even comprehend the significance of what air is, until you felt its relief spreading from your chest. _She would flash a small smile, knowing full well that even this description paled in comparison to the true experience she had felt in that unforgettable moment.

He looked just as youthful and vibrant as he had been the last time she saw him. His raven's wing hair curled around his face, brown eyes bright and full with subtle mischief, full lips curved into a half-smile. The realness of him rattled her composure. Her jaw slackened, causing her mouth to part in a silent "o."

_Is this really happening…? _Her garbled thoughts questioned. _They... listened? _

But then he was standing, he was descending toward her, and her mind could focus on little else. _Oh, stars, the way he walked. _Though perhaps completely unaware, he was filled with a quiet sort of grace. The traces of a royal lineage were revealed in the balanced, assured way he carried himself. As if the world wove itself only to touch his feet where he moved.

Soon, but not soon enough for Rey's liking, he stood before her, peering down at her as the waning sunlight washed over his face like a warm glow. Slowly, as if he, too, was somewhat uncertain as to whether this would all disappear with a sudden movement, he reached out to cup the side of her face in his hand. His long fingers gently stroked the arch of her cheekbone as she leaned into his touch.

Real. This moment was real.

"Look what you've done," he murmured, an undercurrent of unmistakable joy coursing through his deep voice.

At the sound of his voice, the _nerve _of him to tease her after all that had taken place, Rey's face broke into a wide-mouthed grin.

"Ben," she said simply.

* * *

Author's Note: Ben's back! If you've stuck with me this far, thank you very much! I honestly never intended to write more than the first chapter, but I promise there is a longer narrative that I am now working toward completing. Thanks for all the reviews, well wishes and encouragement since the last chapter. I really, truly appreciate the sincerity. Keep leaving reviews if you feel inclined to do so! It brightens my day to hear what you're thinking about the plot and ways I could potentially improve. xoxo (the socially-distant kind, of course)


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